there is a friend that i have who is one of the strongest women i know.... this is for her...
--------------------------------
written June 1, 2010
my friend
by jennie kathryn
there is much in her past
that she does not wish us to see.
there is much in her past
that would be unthinkable to you and me.
she lived through it all
and came out the other side.
she lived through it all
after much she wants to hide.
the strength she has
is hard for her to see.
the strength she has
is what makes her special to me.
the love she gives
shows how far her heart goes.
the love she gives
is more precious than she knows.
she is my friend,
living through her past has made her free.
she is my friend,
and by her side is where i will always be.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
and now i continue....
so the better part of last night was spent typing in the 27 poems that follow this blog post... 27 poems... i wrote 27 poems... that just sounds really really weird to me... of course not all of them are very good.. lol... but some actually surprised me.
of course, then i go read them... and i realise just how love struck and angsty i was in my youth... is angsty a word?... but you get the point.
why did i decide to document them this way?.. well.. for the better part of 16 years, most of those poems had been typewritten on paper and in a cheap binder... disaster happened about 5 years ago when the binder was in a box that was victim of a flood-caused-by-leaking-air-conditioner... i was madder than a cat in heat....
but my husband, God love him, was smart enough to save the pages for me... even tho i told him, in anger, to get rid of them. Thank goodness for marrying a smart man....
over the last several years, i have avoided my poetry... did not want to think about it or interact with it... but oddly enough, i have gotten the bug again... so i figured if i feel inclined to write a bit... why not have it in a blog so i can share it too.. ;-)
so hopefully from this day forth, i will give in to those creative urges...
and my continued use of the "..." instead of learning to type actual sentences instead of letting my thoughts process out my fingertips... lol
of course, then i go read them... and i realise just how love struck and angsty i was in my youth... is angsty a word?... but you get the point.
why did i decide to document them this way?.. well.. for the better part of 16 years, most of those poems had been typewritten on paper and in a cheap binder... disaster happened about 5 years ago when the binder was in a box that was victim of a flood-caused-by-leaking-air-conditioner... i was madder than a cat in heat....
but my husband, God love him, was smart enough to save the pages for me... even tho i told him, in anger, to get rid of them. Thank goodness for marrying a smart man....
over the last several years, i have avoided my poetry... did not want to think about it or interact with it... but oddly enough, i have gotten the bug again... so i figured if i feel inclined to write a bit... why not have it in a blog so i can share it too.. ;-)
so hopefully from this day forth, i will give in to those creative urges...
and my continued use of the "..." instead of learning to type actual sentences instead of letting my thoughts process out my fingertips... lol
The Oldest of Three
i wrote this because i figured if i write a poem about one brother, then i have to express my feelings about the other as well... :)
-----------------------------
written 2005-ish...
The Oldest of Three
by jennie kathryn
My biggest influence that I can see
As surprising as it may seem to be
Tamed the wildchild inside of me
The one I desperately wanted to be.
He has no idea how I felt to be free
Even every day wondering if I need to worry
Will he still love me if I don't live flawlessly?
That must be the price I pay for being me.
-----------------------------
written 2005-ish...
The Oldest of Three
by jennie kathryn
My biggest influence that I can see
As surprising as it may seem to be
Tamed the wildchild inside of me
The one I desperately wanted to be.
He has no idea how I felt to be free
Even every day wondering if I need to worry
Will he still love me if I don't live flawlessly?
That must be the price I pay for being me.
My Brother
i wrote this poem after reading a few poems my youngest brother had written... i was truly astonished by how creative he was that i felt i had to express it....
------------------------------
written 2005-ish?
My Brother
by jennie kathryn
Looking back, I never knew
the complexity of the boy
I grew up next to.
Looking back, I never saw
the imagination and emotions
his words could draw.
Looking now, I see a man
who is more artistic
than even I am.
Looking now, I see a guy
whose unknown potential
reaches up to the sky.
Looking forward, to his life
he will be enveloped in love
for his children, and adoring wife.
Looking forward, I know this
he will live in happiness and
hidden talents he shall not miss.
------------------------------
written 2005-ish?
My Brother
by jennie kathryn
Looking back, I never knew
the complexity of the boy
I grew up next to.
Looking back, I never saw
the imagination and emotions
his words could draw.
Looking now, I see a man
who is more artistic
than even I am.
Looking now, I see a guy
whose unknown potential
reaches up to the sky.
Looking forward, to his life
he will be enveloped in love
for his children, and adoring wife.
Looking forward, I know this
he will live in happiness and
hidden talents he shall not miss.
Endings
written Summer 2004
Endings
by jennie kathryn
I have no more creativity
I seem to have lost my muse.
What a surprise this will be to everyone
But to me, it is no grand news.
It's a state that was long in coming
Not quite an unexpected thing,
Just one of those things that happens
When you have no more happiness to bring.
I have searched the whole world over
Even looked in the most forbidden place,
But not even the strongest inspiration
Can bring me back to a state of grace.
I need to learn how to look further
Beyond all the world's violence and hate.
Perhaps, out there, there may be something
That will save me before it's too late.
If I must, I will spend my life searching
For that something that'll make the world bend,
So once again peace will fall upon us
And it will bring my misery to an end.
Endings
by jennie kathryn
I have no more creativity
I seem to have lost my muse.
What a surprise this will be to everyone
But to me, it is no grand news.
It's a state that was long in coming
Not quite an unexpected thing,
Just one of those things that happens
When you have no more happiness to bring.
I have searched the whole world over
Even looked in the most forbidden place,
But not even the strongest inspiration
Can bring me back to a state of grace.
I need to learn how to look further
Beyond all the world's violence and hate.
Perhaps, out there, there may be something
That will save me before it's too late.
If I must, I will spend my life searching
For that something that'll make the world bend,
So once again peace will fall upon us
And it will bring my misery to an end.
The Monotony of Life
written April 25, 1997
The Monotony of Life
by jennie kathryn
Come, enter into the monotony of life
where nothing makes a difference
and everything is a change.
Where each sigh is a path to Heaven
when followed has no end
and each breath brings new life.
Where every opportunity is misplaced
bringing forth unrealised ideas
and every plan has a way to break down.
Where love in all it's splendor
creates havoc within the heart
and hatred cannot find it's source.
Where we discovered the meaning of life
while learning how to live it
and we question it unto our death.
Where greatness exists everywhere
within and without each of us
that is the monotony of life.
The Monotony of Life
by jennie kathryn
Come, enter into the monotony of life
where nothing makes a difference
and everything is a change.
Where each sigh is a path to Heaven
when followed has no end
and each breath brings new life.
Where every opportunity is misplaced
bringing forth unrealised ideas
and every plan has a way to break down.
Where love in all it's splendor
creates havoc within the heart
and hatred cannot find it's source.
Where we discovered the meaning of life
while learning how to live it
and we question it unto our death.
Where greatness exists everywhere
within and without each of us
that is the monotony of life.
Anything
this is more of a song than a poem... i started writing it as a poem in late 1996... and finished it as a song in 1998 with a melody and everything...
too bad i can't record it.. :(
------------------------------------
Anything
by jennie kathryn
My love, how I wish I was with you
without all of this heartache and guilt.
My friend, your attention is a blessing
but mine is unfair to you still.
I am cruel and unjust to my loved one
yet I'm kind while I'm using my friend.
This confusion is my own creation
through a desperate attempt to amend
The hurt that you caused
The love that I give
The pain I inflict
The joy that we lived.
Though often I wish I could,
I wouldn't
give it up
for anything, My Love.
The love that I have I am missing
cause of guilt, and the distance, and time.
The friend that I have is beginning to find
all the love that is trapped in my heart.
To my love I deny explanation
to my friend I go to confess.
It's a world where only the lonely,
could create such a dangerous mess.
The hard times alone
The fun times with you
The sad times together
and the happy ones too.
Though often I wish I could
I wouldn't
give it up
for anything, My Friend.
The hurt that you caused
The love that I give
The pain I inflict
The joy that we live.
The hard times alone
The fun times with you
The sad times together
and the happy ones too.
Though often I wish I could,
I wouldn't
give them up
for anything, For You.
too bad i can't record it.. :(
------------------------------------
Anything
by jennie kathryn
My love, how I wish I was with you
without all of this heartache and guilt.
My friend, your attention is a blessing
but mine is unfair to you still.
I am cruel and unjust to my loved one
yet I'm kind while I'm using my friend.
This confusion is my own creation
through a desperate attempt to amend
The hurt that you caused
The love that I give
The pain I inflict
The joy that we lived.
Though often I wish I could,
I wouldn't
give it up
for anything, My Love.
The love that I have I am missing
cause of guilt, and the distance, and time.
The friend that I have is beginning to find
all the love that is trapped in my heart.
To my love I deny explanation
to my friend I go to confess.
It's a world where only the lonely,
could create such a dangerous mess.
The hard times alone
The fun times with you
The sad times together
and the happy ones too.
Though often I wish I could
I wouldn't
give it up
for anything, My Friend.
The hurt that you caused
The love that I give
The pain I inflict
The joy that we live.
The hard times alone
The fun times with you
The sad times together
and the happy ones too.
Though often I wish I could,
I wouldn't
give them up
for anything, For You.
The Beginning
this was written when i first started to question my own upcoming wedding... and whether or not it should take place......... it didn't.
-----------------------------------
Written August 23, 1996
The Beginning
by jennie kathryn
I see them stand there whispering
wondering of the secrets they share
I think back to a time I was like them
then realise, I am the only one who would care
To look at them you see an aura
surrounding them like a silken robe
It affects the observers conscious mind
examining their memories like a probe
They start to remember fondly
a time when they were like this
Flooding their minds with happiness
never realising that it was missed
The couples smiles are shining
as they dance in a soft embrace
Being admired by their loved ones
wiht new-found happiness visible on their face
This loving couple has never been so happy
they have the right to feel that way
So many poeple have experienced the same
afetrall, this is their wedding day.
-----------------------------------
Written August 23, 1996
The Beginning
by jennie kathryn
I see them stand there whispering
wondering of the secrets they share
I think back to a time I was like them
then realise, I am the only one who would care
To look at them you see an aura
surrounding them like a silken robe
It affects the observers conscious mind
examining their memories like a probe
They start to remember fondly
a time when they were like this
Flooding their minds with happiness
never realising that it was missed
The couples smiles are shining
as they dance in a soft embrace
Being admired by their loved ones
wiht new-found happiness visible on their face
This loving couple has never been so happy
they have the right to feel that way
So many poeple have experienced the same
afetrall, this is their wedding day.
Ode to Life
written June 6, 1998
Ode to Life
by Jennie Kathryn
The time has come for the world to arise
the sun climbs toward the heavens
as we begin to open our eyes.
The time has come for life to have a chance
bringing our reality into the daylight
before our dreams take over like a trance.
Everything has a path it must follow
with a bit of guidance by the human race
without us, all life would turn to nothing
not existing, in any time, or any place.
We must follow our hearts to happiness
though the road may be paved with fear
or all that we strive for will diminish
into the emptiness we all hold so near.
It is love that keeps us together
It is love that decides
It is love that we must search for
or follow a path to our own demise.
Ode to Life
by Jennie Kathryn
The time has come for the world to arise
the sun climbs toward the heavens
as we begin to open our eyes.
The time has come for life to have a chance
bringing our reality into the daylight
before our dreams take over like a trance.
Everything has a path it must follow
with a bit of guidance by the human race
without us, all life would turn to nothing
not existing, in any time, or any place.
We must follow our hearts to happiness
though the road may be paved with fear
or all that we strive for will diminish
into the emptiness we all hold so near.
It is love that keeps us together
It is love that decides
It is love that we must search for
or follow a path to our own demise.
Misery
written April 16, 1998
Misery
by jennie kathryn
While we sleep, and all our dreams abound,
The Little People are juggling our souls around.
They come in the night when noone makes a peep,
and take away the emotions that lie so deep.
They fiddle and they fix any problems that arise,
then replace what they took with a memory in disguise.
When they examine the mind of one in much pain,
they'll take away what has made her insane.
She'll never miss it, won't even bat an eye,
it's something so small she won't question why.
"Why can't I remember that feeling he gave me?",
No, she'll never miss that feeling of misery.
Then there is one, that greedy little soul
who won't relinquish his claim on what the others thought so droll.
"You have fixed her, now I will take care of him.
She will only know happiness, he will never hurt her again."
Now when she sleeps, beautiful dreams appear,
life with him is happy, with nothing left to fear.
The Little People live for this every night,
they play with our lives, when we can't even fight.
This is what they do, they think they're being kind,
so, better watch out, or they'll enter your mind.
Misery
by jennie kathryn
While we sleep, and all our dreams abound,
The Little People are juggling our souls around.
They come in the night when noone makes a peep,
and take away the emotions that lie so deep.
They fiddle and they fix any problems that arise,
then replace what they took with a memory in disguise.
When they examine the mind of one in much pain,
they'll take away what has made her insane.
She'll never miss it, won't even bat an eye,
it's something so small she won't question why.
"Why can't I remember that feeling he gave me?",
No, she'll never miss that feeling of misery.
Then there is one, that greedy little soul
who won't relinquish his claim on what the others thought so droll.
"You have fixed her, now I will take care of him.
She will only know happiness, he will never hurt her again."
Now when she sleeps, beautiful dreams appear,
life with him is happy, with nothing left to fear.
The Little People live for this every night,
they play with our lives, when we can't even fight.
This is what they do, they think they're being kind,
so, better watch out, or they'll enter your mind.
This Thankful Day
written December 4,1996
This Thankful Day
by jennie kathryn
I am thankful for a lot of things in many different ways;
the rain; the snow; the hard, cold wind, and those bright and sunny days.
The stars at night are company for the lonely, harvest moon;
while we sleep and dream of love, we know the sun will join us soon.
I am thankful for my experiences, all those good and bad;
without them I wouldn't be me, and that would make me sad.
My life is what I've made it, and I'm proud of what I've become;
though I've got my thorns and a temper, too, I still mean a lot to some.
I am thankful for the words I have to share with you today;
the life, the love, the laughter, the role that each of you play.
Although you may not know it, this is something I have found;
no one can be a nobody, because they affect everyone around.
I am thankful for almost everything this world does give to me;
the smells, the sounds, the nature's beauty some are too busy to see.
So remember on this thankful day with loved ones that you share;
our lives affect all people, but we're in the heart of those who care.
This Thankful Day
by jennie kathryn
I am thankful for a lot of things in many different ways;
the rain; the snow; the hard, cold wind, and those bright and sunny days.
The stars at night are company for the lonely, harvest moon;
while we sleep and dream of love, we know the sun will join us soon.
I am thankful for my experiences, all those good and bad;
without them I wouldn't be me, and that would make me sad.
My life is what I've made it, and I'm proud of what I've become;
though I've got my thorns and a temper, too, I still mean a lot to some.
I am thankful for the words I have to share with you today;
the life, the love, the laughter, the role that each of you play.
Although you may not know it, this is something I have found;
no one can be a nobody, because they affect everyone around.
I am thankful for almost everything this world does give to me;
the smells, the sounds, the nature's beauty some are too busy to see.
So remember on this thankful day with loved ones that you share;
our lives affect all people, but we're in the heart of those who care.
4 years
written November 13, 1995
4 years
by jennie kathryn
Under the mask of realism
New and wonderful things arise
In front, behind, all around.
View these from another perspective
Enter them into your conscious mind
Relate them to another
See if they react as you did.
In their mind it may be different
Then they relate it to another.
Young and old pass it through their mind.
One may understand and enjoy
Four others accept without comprehension.
Some still relate it to others
One of those will change the meaning.
Up, around, in and out
Through minds, pages, bytes
Having no control of the changes.
Common thoughts become abstract
A simple word gains many meanings
Right and wrong become confused.
Once an easy, simple word,
Life becomes something else.
Interaction increases and decreases
Nothing can stop the change.
A body could go crazy
All these things changing.
The knowledge that was once simple
About-facing in someone else's mind.
Intelligent thought lost and gained
Knowledge altered and added to.
Everything you know, new and old
Now can be called a college education.
4 years
by jennie kathryn
Under the mask of realism
New and wonderful things arise
In front, behind, all around.
View these from another perspective
Enter them into your conscious mind
Relate them to another
See if they react as you did.
In their mind it may be different
Then they relate it to another.
Young and old pass it through their mind.
One may understand and enjoy
Four others accept without comprehension.
Some still relate it to others
One of those will change the meaning.
Up, around, in and out
Through minds, pages, bytes
Having no control of the changes.
Common thoughts become abstract
A simple word gains many meanings
Right and wrong become confused.
Once an easy, simple word,
Life becomes something else.
Interaction increases and decreases
Nothing can stop the change.
A body could go crazy
All these things changing.
The knowledge that was once simple
About-facing in someone else's mind.
Intelligent thought lost and gained
Knowledge altered and added to.
Everything you know, new and old
Now can be called a college education.
darkness
written October 31, 1995
In the World of Make-Believe
where nothing is ever real
I find you in the shadows
searchign for a soul to steal.
You cannot recognize me
behind this mask and colored hair
but you know I am afraid
because of my frozen stare.
Behind my black facade
is where you long to be
to look deep within my soul
to find the heart of me.
No luck you have in seeing through
the disguise so many have seen
but you will never give up trying
because tonight is Halloween.
In the World of Make-Believe
where nothing is ever real
I find you in the shadows
searchign for a soul to steal.
You cannot recognize me
behind this mask and colored hair
but you know I am afraid
because of my frozen stare.
Behind my black facade
is where you long to be
to look deep within my soul
to find the heart of me.
No luck you have in seeing through
the disguise so many have seen
but you will never give up trying
because tonight is Halloween.
It's Your Decision
written August 31, 1995
It's Your Decision
by jennie kathryn
I give you one rose of red
. For the love that we share
And another rose of white
. For my promise to always be there.
I know of no way to say it
. Except through my love.
In my heart, we're a pair
. Introduced by God in Heaven above.
I will wait for you quietly
. Till you learn with whom your future lies.
I will do anything you need to learn it
. If you want, I will even say goodbye.
You said about your feelings
. You love me enough to let me know.
I say about mine
. I love you enough to let you go.
It's Your Decision
by jennie kathryn
I give you one rose of red
. For the love that we share
And another rose of white
. For my promise to always be there.
I know of no way to say it
. Except through my love.
In my heart, we're a pair
. Introduced by God in Heaven above.
I will wait for you quietly
. Till you learn with whom your future lies.
I will do anything you need to learn it
. If you want, I will even say goodbye.
You said about your feelings
. You love me enough to let me know.
I say about mine
. I love you enough to let you go.
My Love
written December 10, 1994
My Love
by jennie kathryn
You came into my life
Like a star bursts in the night sky.
It felt so natural to have you there
I never thought to question why.
Ever since you told me you love me,
I have been up on cloud nine.
You know how much I love you
But I still cannot believe you are mine.
Can happiness like this
Be too good to be true?
Not in our lives
Because you love me and I love you.
We were meant to be together.
Why? I cannot say.
But I can assure you,
My love will never go away.
Our love will always last.
I knew that from the start.
So, take these words of love
And keep them in your heart.
My Love
by jennie kathryn
You came into my life
Like a star bursts in the night sky.
It felt so natural to have you there
I never thought to question why.
Ever since you told me you love me,
I have been up on cloud nine.
You know how much I love you
But I still cannot believe you are mine.
Can happiness like this
Be too good to be true?
Not in our lives
Because you love me and I love you.
We were meant to be together.
Why? I cannot say.
But I can assure you,
My love will never go away.
Our love will always last.
I knew that from the start.
So, take these words of love
And keep them in your heart.
Her
written November 8, 1994
Her
by jennie kathryn
I want to see you
at any time of the day
not just when you're free
but I can't
because of her.
You seem to want to see me
like you did the other ngiht
but at any time of the day
but you can't
because of her.
How can we make this work
if we can't see each other
at any time of any day?
sneaking around makes it harder, all
because of her.
Sooner or later you'll have to choose
which one do you want more?
i want to be happy to have found you
but i can't
because of her.
Her
by jennie kathryn
I want to see you
at any time of the day
not just when you're free
but I can't
because of her.
You seem to want to see me
like you did the other ngiht
but at any time of the day
but you can't
because of her.
How can we make this work
if we can't see each other
at any time of any day?
sneaking around makes it harder, all
because of her.
Sooner or later you'll have to choose
which one do you want more?
i want to be happy to have found you
but i can't
because of her.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
nightlight
i must preface this poem by saying that the visual indenting of this poem is part of it's character... in this forum, it is difficult to space indentions accurately... i will do the best i can with the use of _underscores_ so you may see it as it is intended to be read... but be aware the _underscores_ are not supposed to be there.
-----------------
written November 3, 1994
nightlight
by jennie kathryn
I look over.
____The light, it's blue
________should be yellow
__________________or white.
____it still serves the same purpose
____but it's blue.
__________cool.
____what is he?
________a blue light special?
____________attention K-Mart shoppers
____________blue light special
______________________________isle 10.
____My light is green
________should be yellow
__________________or white.
____it's not working anyway.
____but it would be green.
_________why?
____i don't know
________because i like green
____________they say green makes you horny.
____________is the the effect i want?
____________________________________probably.
____There are other lights
________they are all yellow
__________________or white.
____some are on, others off
____ours are the only colors.
____________weird.
____why are ours colors?
________i don't know
____________because we are originals.
____________that's why we're friends
____________________________________past lovers.
-----------------
written November 3, 1994
nightlight
by jennie kathryn
I look over.
____The light, it's blue
________should be yellow
__________________or white.
____it still serves the same purpose
____but it's blue.
__________cool.
____what is he?
________a blue light special?
____________attention K-Mart shoppers
____________blue light special
______________________________isle 10.
____My light is green
________should be yellow
__________________or white.
____it's not working anyway.
____but it would be green.
_________why?
____i don't know
________because i like green
____________they say green makes you horny.
____________is the the effect i want?
____________________________________probably.
____There are other lights
________they are all yellow
__________________or white.
____some are on, others off
____ours are the only colors.
____________weird.
____why are ours colors?
________i don't know
____________because we are originals.
____________that's why we're friends
____________________________________past lovers.
The Existence of Nothing
this is the first poem i wrote after a rather tragic event in my life... it seems even the creative mind can be effected by the world of it's host.
--------------------------
written November 11, 1994
The Existence of Nothing
by jennie kathryn
K.
There it's not blank anymore.
I sat here looking at a blank page
Couldn't think of any words to put on it.
So, I wrote a letter.
But what is so wrong with a blank page?
Plenty if you're trying to write a poem
Nothing if you want art.
The again, a blank page is poetry in itself.
The existance of nothing.
Now that poem is ruined
All because I just sat looking at it
What I thought was only a blank page.
Next time I'll know better.
Then again, maybe not.
I'll have to write something on it
Even just to explain that it is my poem.
Blank page.
Take back K.
--------------------------
written November 11, 1994
The Existence of Nothing
by jennie kathryn
K.
There it's not blank anymore.
I sat here looking at a blank page
Couldn't think of any words to put on it.
So, I wrote a letter.
But what is so wrong with a blank page?
Plenty if you're trying to write a poem
Nothing if you want art.
The again, a blank page is poetry in itself.
The existance of nothing.
Now that poem is ruined
All because I just sat looking at it
What I thought was only a blank page.
Next time I'll know better.
Then again, maybe not.
I'll have to write something on it
Even just to explain that it is my poem.
Blank page.
Take back K.
A Maiden's Tale
written October 8, 1994
A Maiden's Tale
by jennie kathryn
In the dark of night
when even the stars won't shine,
the lonely maiden sits there wondering
"Will I ever have someone who's mine?"
She's not asking too much, is she?
Isn't that what all ladies say
to the stars when they feel lonely
hoping their dreams will find their way?
The wind sweeps through her hair
on this cool autumn night.
If only a young man were near
to see this beautiful sight.
But, alas, she waited there forever,
even wished on each morning's dew,
but no young man ever came
to whisper the words: "I love you."
A Maiden's Tale
by jennie kathryn
In the dark of night
when even the stars won't shine,
the lonely maiden sits there wondering
"Will I ever have someone who's mine?"
She's not asking too much, is she?
Isn't that what all ladies say
to the stars when they feel lonely
hoping their dreams will find their way?
The wind sweeps through her hair
on this cool autumn night.
If only a young man were near
to see this beautiful sight.
But, alas, she waited there forever,
even wished on each morning's dew,
but no young man ever came
to whisper the words: "I love you."
Only When
this was written when i was in college and was questioned about how far i would go with a guy... at the time, this was my answer.
----------------------------
written September 20, 1994
Only When
by jennie kathryn
sex is love, and love is sex
and each completes the other.
that's what some men believe,
about their promiscuous lover.
if sex is love, and love is sex,
and it's like that for any two,
then why aren't we together,
when you know how much i want you?
if sex is love, and love is sex
and that's how it's seen in men's eyes?
then, why am i wasting my time on you,
when i could be with someother guys?
because love is love, and sex is a perk
and that's how it is with me.
Only when you decide you want my heart,
then you might also get my body.
----------------------------
written September 20, 1994
Only When
by jennie kathryn
sex is love, and love is sex
and each completes the other.
that's what some men believe,
about their promiscuous lover.
if sex is love, and love is sex,
and it's like that for any two,
then why aren't we together,
when you know how much i want you?
if sex is love, and love is sex
and that's how it's seen in men's eyes?
then, why am i wasting my time on you,
when i could be with someother guys?
because love is love, and sex is a perk
and that's how it is with me.
Only when you decide you want my heart,
then you might also get my body.
What I deserve
written September 12, 1994
What I deserve
by jennie kathryn
When will I learn
how to pick the good men?
The ones i have now just burn
my heart until it cannot love them.
I wise up, get rid of a bad one
then find another just the same.
The only difference with this one
is he's got a different name.
At first I think he'll be great
not like the last one or his brothers.
But I just get sick of him not wanting to date
me, just me, and not any others.
It is too much to as to be loved like I deserve?
I guess these guys won't try, cause they haven't the nerve.
What I deserve
by jennie kathryn
When will I learn
how to pick the good men?
The ones i have now just burn
my heart until it cannot love them.
I wise up, get rid of a bad one
then find another just the same.
The only difference with this one
is he's got a different name.
At first I think he'll be great
not like the last one or his brothers.
But I just get sick of him not wanting to date
me, just me, and not any others.
It is too much to as to be loved like I deserve?
I guess these guys won't try, cause they haven't the nerve.
There is no understanding of men!
written September 8, 1994
There is no understanding of men!
by jennie kathryn
Explain to me why men believe what they do.
Here's one demented belief that they carry.
They say there are certain women you screw
and then there are others you marry.
Well, how do I find out which one they want more?
I don't know what to do so explain this one please.
If I give it to him, I am considered a whore,
if I don't, then I am a tease?
Why can't men be sensible about it?
I wish the answer was not "Because
he wants it when he can't get it
and he doesn't after he does."
It seems no matter what I choose to do
I will never end up the winner.
So do I want to be thought of as a prude
or should I just live my life as a sinner?
Sometimes I think "These men are not worth our time."
But when it does work out, I like knowing he's mine.
There is no understanding of men!
by jennie kathryn
Explain to me why men believe what they do.
Here's one demented belief that they carry.
They say there are certain women you screw
and then there are others you marry.
Well, how do I find out which one they want more?
I don't know what to do so explain this one please.
If I give it to him, I am considered a whore,
if I don't, then I am a tease?
Why can't men be sensible about it?
I wish the answer was not "Because
he wants it when he can't get it
and he doesn't after he does."
It seems no matter what I choose to do
I will never end up the winner.
So do I want to be thought of as a prude
or should I just live my life as a sinner?
Sometimes I think "These men are not worth our time."
But when it does work out, I like knowing he's mine.
Special Kind of Love
written September 6, 1994
Special Kind of Love
by jennie kathryn
I could love him
if he'd only give me the chance.
Even now, when I think of him
my heart does a flip-flop dance.
He could love me
if he'd let his heart lead the way.
Even now, whenever I'm with him
he always wants me to stay.
We prob'ly are in love
though we're not ready to admit it.
It's a special kind of love
with no distrust or jealousy in it.
If tomorrow he told me sincerely "I really do love you"
I think I could honestly say "Honey, I love you too."
Special Kind of Love
by jennie kathryn
I could love him
if he'd only give me the chance.
Even now, when I think of him
my heart does a flip-flop dance.
He could love me
if he'd let his heart lead the way.
Even now, whenever I'm with him
he always wants me to stay.
We prob'ly are in love
though we're not ready to admit it.
It's a special kind of love
with no distrust or jealousy in it.
If tomorrow he told me sincerely "I really do love you"
I think I could honestly say "Honey, I love you too."
He loves me, He loves me not
written September 6, 1994
He loves me, He loves me not
by jennie kathryn
Sometimes i think he loves me
Like in the new morning light.
He acts so caring and gentle
And everything seems so right.
i never want to leave him
Whenever he acts this way.
Then he becomes so cold and uncaring
That i never know what to say.
It doesn't happen in a moment
It's over an hour or two,
And when i mention the change to him
His actions say "Why, of course I want you."
i don't know whether to listen to my head or to my heart,
But the way i am going now, each day is a brand new start.
He loves me, He loves me not
by jennie kathryn
Sometimes i think he loves me
Like in the new morning light.
He acts so caring and gentle
And everything seems so right.
i never want to leave him
Whenever he acts this way.
Then he becomes so cold and uncaring
That i never know what to say.
It doesn't happen in a moment
It's over an hour or two,
And when i mention the change to him
His actions say "Why, of course I want you."
i don't know whether to listen to my head or to my heart,
But the way i am going now, each day is a brand new start.
How Can We Make Her See?
written September 1, 1994
How Can We Make Her See?
by jennie kathryn
How can she not see
the Hell he puts her through?
She doesn't believe he can be
so unfeeling and unlike you.
She believes he has a good side
that will come out one day.
When it doesn, she'll no longer hide
from those who want to take her away.
We're only trying to help her
from making a BIG mistake.
But, we'll have to ask her together
"How much more Hell will you take?"
We'll never convince her to take a stand
because she really believes she'll get a wedding band.
How Can We Make Her See?
by jennie kathryn
How can she not see
the Hell he puts her through?
She doesn't believe he can be
so unfeeling and unlike you.
She believes he has a good side
that will come out one day.
When it doesn, she'll no longer hide
from those who want to take her away.
We're only trying to help her
from making a BIG mistake.
But, we'll have to ask her together
"How much more Hell will you take?"
We'll never convince her to take a stand
because she really believes she'll get a wedding band.
Hibernation
this is #4 of the first poems i ever wrote, i believe the set of them was for my english composition class my first year in college.
-------------------------------------
written Spring 1994
Hibernation
by jennie kathryn
the leaves are gone
the green grass has vanished
the animals are sleeping
I wish I could do the same.
the cold freezes your breath
the night bright as a coudy day
the snow on the ground makes an eerie silence
I still wish winter wasn't always the same.
the pond is frozen over
the horse won't go for a ride
the birds are nowhere singing
I wish I could be in that noplace too.
the heater is working overtime
the windows are frozen shut
the annual blizzard will be here on Tuesday
I still hope next winter will have something new.
-------------------------------------
written Spring 1994
Hibernation
by jennie kathryn
the leaves are gone
the green grass has vanished
the animals are sleeping
I wish I could do the same.
the cold freezes your breath
the night bright as a coudy day
the snow on the ground makes an eerie silence
I still wish winter wasn't always the same.
the pond is frozen over
the horse won't go for a ride
the birds are nowhere singing
I wish I could be in that noplace too.
the heater is working overtime
the windows are frozen shut
the annual blizzard will be here on Tuesday
I still hope next winter will have something new.
A Matter of Chance
this is #3 of the first poems i ever wrote, i believe the set of them was for my english composition class my first year in college.
-------------------------------------
written Spring 1994
A Matter of Chance
by jennie kathryn
She lies peaceful as a tot
Who has not yet learned to deceive.
..Will she soon awaken?
I think not,
All we can do now is prepare to grieve.
..What has she done, to be put in this state?
The fault lies not on her, but another.
..This is no accident caused my fate.
It was caused by one who could be a father or a brother
..I don't think she'll ever live like me or like you
To live, she'll have to put up a fight.
..If she doesn't, what will we do?
It'll be their decision, they'll choose what's right.
..With her injuries, it'll be a terrible life to live.
..In cases like this, death may be the best gift to give.
-------------------------------------
written Spring 1994
A Matter of Chance
by jennie kathryn
She lies peaceful as a tot
Who has not yet learned to deceive.
..Will she soon awaken?
I think not,
All we can do now is prepare to grieve.
..What has she done, to be put in this state?
The fault lies not on her, but another.
..This is no accident caused my fate.
It was caused by one who could be a father or a brother
..I don't think she'll ever live like me or like you
To live, she'll have to put up a fight.
..If she doesn't, what will we do?
It'll be their decision, they'll choose what's right.
..With her injuries, it'll be a terrible life to live.
..In cases like this, death may be the best gift to give.
a bend in the road
this is #2 of the first poems i ever wrote, i believe the set of them was for my english composition class my first year in college.
--------------------------------------
written Spring 1994
a bend in the road
by jennie kathryn
what is it? the one thing we want the most?
will we get it? if we do will we boast?
look around the room. who has what you want?
will you know it if you see it? prob'ly not.
if someone does have what you think you need,
will you just take it, or do them a deed?
if you can't see what you are looking for,
look where it won't be, like behind a door.
things we need are always in strange places.
like under beds or in old suitcases.
others' won't want exactly what you do,
so help look for theirs and you'll find yours too.
whatever you want, will be where roads bend.
go down that road. you'll find it in the end.
--------------------------------------
written Spring 1994
a bend in the road
by jennie kathryn
what is it? the one thing we want the most?
will we get it? if we do will we boast?
look around the room. who has what you want?
will you know it if you see it? prob'ly not.
if someone does have what you think you need,
will you just take it, or do them a deed?
if you can't see what you are looking for,
look where it won't be, like behind a door.
things we need are always in strange places.
like under beds or in old suitcases.
others' won't want exactly what you do,
so help look for theirs and you'll find yours too.
whatever you want, will be where roads bend.
go down that road. you'll find it in the end.
Revalations
this is #1 of the first poems i ever wrote, i believe the set of them was for my english composition class my first year in college.
--------------------------------------
written Spring 1994
Revalations
by jennie kathryn
We me at neighbors then as friends
in the childlike summer of nineteen seventy-nine.
Our play was together from the start of day to when it ends
neither of us knowing that I would be his and he would be mine.
For years we were known as the best of best buddies,
we did anything and everything together, we two.
We played sports and hung out and worked on our studies.
It was never a matter of I, it was: Today what have we to do?
As the years passed and many were sure we would part,
through the anger, frustration, and confusion of life,
somehow we kept ourselves in the other's heart
wondering: Will he be my husband? Will I be his wife?
Then, years later, when the future seemed most grim,
we realised, all he needed was me, and all I needed was him.
--------------------------------------
written Spring 1994
Revalations
by jennie kathryn
We me at neighbors then as friends
in the childlike summer of nineteen seventy-nine.
Our play was together from the start of day to when it ends
neither of us knowing that I would be his and he would be mine.
For years we were known as the best of best buddies,
we did anything and everything together, we two.
We played sports and hung out and worked on our studies.
It was never a matter of I, it was: Today what have we to do?
As the years passed and many were sure we would part,
through the anger, frustration, and confusion of life,
somehow we kept ourselves in the other's heart
wondering: Will he be my husband? Will I be his wife?
Then, years later, when the future seemed most grim,
we realised, all he needed was me, and all I needed was him.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
